Is it possible that the common belief of what a relationship is imposes too many restrictions on a state of bliss? If one is trying to fit into the box ~ or boat ~ of the commonly held confines of a relationship, how do those limitations affect ones overall experience of the world?

Ultimately, the confines of the relationship feel safe because one can know what to expect, or atleast believe they know what to expect. It almost seems as though it is from the fear of experiencing emotional pain that we have to put boundaries around the relationships we build, intimate and otherwise. Yet, if we begin operating within boundaries that make us feel safe from experiencing pain, how much does this then transpose to the rest of our lives? Is fear of experiencing the unknown the real root of this potential fallacy?

For me, the concept of bliss is being open to experience the richness of life moment to moment. If i have a fear of the emotion that goes along with experience, that in itself will limit what i'm open to experience and also likely set a pattern of self imposed limitations. Whew, deep thoughts on relationships early on a Sunday morning.

Bliss is Ongoing Work

Oh, the belief systems around love. Where and how did we impose such limiting guide posts on what love is? Valentines Day. The crop of expectations, aspirations, resentments and occasional moments of epiphany while digging through the roots of where theses beliefs originate. If one can face the prospect of being wrong about these beliefs, overcome them, and face life moment to moment as it unfolds, life can be the dynamic and enchanting experience it was meant to be.

bliss missed

Wouldn't life be wonderful if such amazing things could happen to us on a regular basis? The sense of wonder i felt, the warm and sparkly feeling of being connected to something bigger than i could understand; that my authentic needs could be provided for in ways beyond my minds' ability to comprehend. That profound realization that there was more to life than what i was capable of grasping at that time was both enlightening and completely daunting.

One thing i do know contributed to my experience of 'bliss' was my openness to experience. I held very little judgement about myself or others, about situations, or about what 'should' or was 'suppose' to happen. Instead, i lived in the moment, trying to maintain a sense of peace with myself and however i happened to feel at any given time.

For many reasons i was unable to sustain that state of bliss over a long period of time. I think on some level i began to think i was 'there' ~ as though i had attained some level of enlightenment and could then go about what i 'should' be doing or some ingrained belief about what i was 'suppose' to do. Oddly, this is completely the opposite of the state of mind that had ushered 'bliss' in my life.

In my own time, i had to work through those barries and belief systems burried in my subconscious. It is only upon reflection now that i have a clearer picture of how this unfolded. My own belief systems have been barriers to my happiness, and how to apply an operating system that could be more effective at keeping me present in the moment in order to cultivate more blissful experience on a regular basis. Wow, what a subtle and deep concept to explore!

About ten years ago, in my early twenties, i had found a sense of inner peace and comfort with myself that i hadn't previously known was possible; a concept that had never really occurred to me. I began to realize who i am goes far beyond who the world around me thinks i am, and that cultivating a rich inner landscape was a very personally fulfilling experience. I also began to realize that i had to accept who i really was, and to gauge my inner landscape on my own terms, not the judgements and expectations of the world around me. Essentially, it was time to have clear dialogue with myself.

This process, though at times difficult, was immensely rewarding. It seemed the clearer i got with myself and my own truly authentic self and needs, the more flow i experienced in my life. At that time i was looking for work and did not have an income to speak of and was in need of some new ankle supporting shoes for walking my dog along a stoney beach. In a moment of clear dialogue with myself, i recognized this need without attaching to it positively or negatively, just merely observing the need. For good measure, i through in a creative spark of wanting the shoes to be navy blue.

A couple of days later, upon returning from a community lunch at a sikh temple, my friend suggested we stop at a garage sale and pointed to a sign a little to late for me to turn. I replied we could stop at the next one, and that is just what we did. What happened next was positively enriching to my inner world, yet not something i could share the profoundity of with anyone other than myself. At this, the second garage sale, was a new pair of navy blue, ankle supporting, perfectly fitting shoes that felt like walking on clouds, for a very affordable price of $2 ~ $1 per shoe. On the heels, in holographic silver, was the word 'bliss'; the 'i' dotted with a heart. My heart was celebrating and immensely grateful for this synchronistic find. What happened next felt more miraculous than synchronistic.

The next morning, another friend in our circle and i were admiring art at a local outdoor square. My friend new of my fantastic find the previous day and was happy for me and my small tribulation; her happiness turned to shock as she picked up an information pamphlet on an artist we were admiring. Her mouth agap, glancing at the heel of my shoes, she handed the pamphlet to me. Across the top it read BLISS ~ when stardust falls from your heels. A sense of wonder, shock and amazement flooded both of us; a profound moment enriching my inner landscape was witnessed by another person.